The Night Life of PKW

5:05 pm: Mom picks me up from school and I giggle about it.
5:10 pm: Try to eat Mom's necklace again. It doesn't work. Settle for ripping it off her neck. Also doesn't work. She puts me in the carseat before I can make another attempt to destroy the necklace.

5:15 pm: Tell my mom about my day as we drive home. She doesn't understand my happy shrieks. Fall asleep.

5:25 pm: Wake up in the living room. Hey, wasn't I just in a car? WTH? Oops, I'm not supposed to swear.

5:30 pm: Look out the back window at the birds. Yell at the birds.

5:40 pm: Destroy my high chair and throw bibs all over the kitchen.

5:45 pm: Crawl to the bathroom, shut the door, and say as much as I can to hear my voice echo.

5:55 pm: Bart Simpson choke the Brown Bear. Bear must die.

6:00 pm: Mom loads me up for a neighborhood run. I am so confused about this because I can't run.

6:05 pm: Laugh at my mom's slow pace.

6:15 pm: Yell at the moon.

6:30 pm: Giggle at the neighborhood dog that tries to run with us.

6:35 pm: Yell at the moon (with my hands this time)

6:40 pm: Rub my head to tell my mom that I'm done with this run.

6:55 pm: Get home and love on the Brown Bear. Giggle at the Bear. Bear forgets I choked him.

7:00 pm: Destroy all things on the coffee table.

7:05 pm: Eat a lot of food. Cheerios, Baby food, a Bottle. Scream at my mom for thinking I'm done. Eat more Cheerios. Some Baby Cheetos. More Cheerios.

7:35 pm: Throw balls around and play with my parents. I'm so funny. They are so funny. I pee a little. My mom pees a little.

8:00 pm: Get a little grumpy. Discover my Yoda toy and style Yoda's hair.

8:15 pm: I'm pretty sure Brown Bear is jealous. Bart Simpson choke him again.

8:30 pm: Parents strip me down to my diaper. Gleefully escape in my near nakedness.

8:35 pm: Parents put more clothes on me. I rub my eyes.

8:40 pm: I eat a 1/2 bottle and listen to my Mom or Dad reads a story. Laugh when they change their voice into something weird.

8:45 pm: Sit in my crib and play.

8:46 pm: Sleep like a rock

9:15 pm: Sleep Crawl to the other side of the crib and sleep in a weird position. Repeat every hour. My parents laugh at all the places they find me at in my crib when they check on me.