Babies in Blue Bonnets

"Take your picture and let me be, mom"

"Pose for a picture? Ok, I can do this."

"Ok, I'm not crying, but I'm not going to pose like he did. I'll just lay here"

"Hey! You already took one! I might cry if you keep this up!"

"Now you want the two of us together... well alright but I'm kind of done..."

"Ok! I'm Done!"
Pres: "Aw, don't cry. This will be cute when we get married someday..."

Pres: "Wait... I don't want to leave my mom! Marriage sounds awful!"
Phoe:"I hate these flowers! And I don't know what marriage is"

"Let's never do this again! Flowers are so sad!"

My Legal Education

I learned something this past week from my Constitutional Law professer (aka the Godfather of Baylor Law). Prof. Guinn has been teaching Con Law since the Cold War and is one of my favorite professors ever.

He has a wealth of knowledge. Recently he used a phrase that I will never forget, that I absolutely love:

The Phrase:

Country

Bumpkin

Now, you may know what this is. But I'd never heard of it before. It sounds really cute, especially when Godfather Guinn says it. However, the meaning of the word is not as endearing. Basically it's a uneducated country person who uses non-politically correct speech without knowing how offensive it is.

When I think about it I want to just giggle. Isn't it cute? Say it three times, you'll agree.

Russ is Going to Be a Great Dad

He's going to ensure Watermelon does not develop a skill for discrimination.

Russ Said a Swear, Russ Said a Swear

(Imagine that in a tattle-tale kids voice).

Church During Recovery

So I really wanted to go to church on Sunday, even though I had been in so much pain on Saturday night. As pictured in my earlier post, I got ready with my mom's help.

We showed up at church and sat on the back row. I brought my rice bag (a fabric bag full of rice that you warm up in the microwave. It's like a poor man's heating pad) for my shoulders. I was still in some pain. We sat down and the meeting began. After about 20 minutes into the meeting (just after the sacrament was passed for those Mo'mons out there) my rice bag was cold and I asked my mom to warm it up for me. She promptly went to the kitchen and warmed it up. When she came back she said to me, "it's kind of hot, it keeps making a crackle and pop sound." Sure enough, it was. But my shoulders were in pain and I didn't mind the bonus heat.

As the meeting proceeded, a counselor in the bishopric got up and ran outside. Although this is strange, it's happened before in our San Marcos Ward. Once, while Russ was speaking in church, a man had a heart attack. A lot of people left in the middle of that meeting. No, not because of Russ, they left to help the man having a heart attack! Sidenote: our church is next to the hospital so the man is ok and got quick medical attention.


Anyway, I thought nothing of the bishopric member leaving. The meeting proceeded and it was a wonderful meeting. It was a fast & testimony meeting. I was glad that I attended. Then, five minutes before the meeting ended, I felt those little feelings telling me to share my testimony. Now before you get too excited, I didn't get up and give a long crazy testimony due to the pain meds. I gave a very short testimony because I knew if I didn't, that I would say something crazy. So I kept it short and sat down before the room began spinning.

But my mom had walked me up there and she then bore her testimony. And I think hearing her testimony is the reason why I felt that I should bear my testimony (because she wouldn't have gotten up on her because she's a visitor and has some sort of policy about that). Anyway, here's what I remember that she said that I want to remember:

• When she was raising 5 kids on her own she thought she was raising 5 juvenile delinquents but she kept on taking us to church and stuff.
• Her attempts to have FHE were normally family fights that started and ended with prayer (so true. I remember these).
• Even though life sucks right now, just remember: THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

After that the meeting shortly ended we spoke a few words with some friends and headed out to the foyer. Out there the bishop quietly came up to Russ (who was holding the rice bag) and asked, "Can I smell that?" Russ, of course, obliged. The bishop went on to explain that during the meeting, he thought the church was on fire and had sent the other bishopric member to go put it out. Turns out it was only my  rice bag, burning in the microwave!

I am glad that I went, but I think I left before I caused any real damage to the church. I went home and took a small nap before watching "The Social Network" with Tiff and Mom and Russ.

Here's to another day of feeling BETTER!!!

The Endearing Conversations with my Husband

C: "When I was a kid I had a cabbage patch doll named Abigail and..."

(Russ cuts in)

R: "I had three cabbage patch dolls and one was African American. Another was named Blake."


---------Later on (as if that isn't classically awesome enough)---------------------

C: "I love that you had cabbage patch dolls, it's so grown up of you."

R: "Well I did. One, the African American, was an astronaut. The other one was a premie and had special needs. And Blake was just normal."

Law School is Fun

One of the funny pleasures of law school is the text messages Russ and I send back and forth. Here is a sample:

My message to Russ:




Russ's response:

The Giving Tree

My dear pal, Cassie, shared this on her blog a few days ago, and I laughed so hard. If you have a few minutes, check out all the Sassy Gay Friend movies on YouTube. But be warned, those of my friends who are prudent, it's rated PG-13.

Two Types

There are two types of humor that I CANNOT stand:

1. Potty humor that sounds like you're a 12 yr. old boy

2. Cliché Mormon jokes

But, smart-funny is what I like.

Lucy v. Zehmer

In Contracts yesterday, I was part of a group that acted out a case, Lucy v. Zehmer. I will just highlight some of the funny lines that I (and the other group members) testified to on the witness stand:

Carey: "Do you always do your business transactions on the Saturday before Christmas, in a restaurant, while drinking?"

Olity: "...No."

Carey: "Are you drinking today sir?"

James: "No."

Joel: "Objection! This is not relevant to the contract"

James: "Get that man a drink"

Carey: "Do you write all your important contracts in a receipt book?"

James:"Yes. Here, I have a receipt book right here. Here's my birth certificate, car title, marriage license, opposing counsel's license to practice law" (throws the book up in the air) "these are jokes"

Bates: "How long have you and your wife been married?"

James: ".... (directed to me, who is playing his wife) How long have you been my sister?"

Carey: "Did you ever intend to sell the property, Mrs. Zehmer"

Chow: "Mr. Attorney, I'm sorry I forgot your name. But Mr. Attorney we bought this land about 10 years ago. When the Hitler was taking over Europe and he took the Francie away from the Europeans. I found out I was pregnant with our nephew-son and so we got married- legally- and bought this land for him.... Mr. Attorney I am not educated, and my husband is not the smartest man and we never got an education and we just wanted to make life better for our nephew-son by making sure he had some land in case the Hitler came here too. We....(break down crying)...."

Um... this might not be funny or may be offensive. But in the context of the case and the class, it was fun.

2012

As I drove home from work, listening to All Things Considered on NPR, the subject was 2012, and how on the Mayan calendar, it's the end of the world.

Well that's the year I graduate from law school.

So, end of the world, you need to wait.

Faxing Ironic

Got this fax tonight in the clerk's office at the church. I think this
is the first fax we've gotten in months. Thank you NNRAA.

Snake Farm

It was one of my favorite stories (you'll have to google it) and a
song I can't get out of my head (google that too). Friday night the
Snake Farm caught fire. My all time favorite quote from a fireman,
"we're being hampered by monkeys."

Palin? If only it was SNL

Breakfast

Omelets and toast this morning. When I went to jam up my toast I
noticed the best by date, 10/18/06. That's right this jam moved from
St. George to Texas and then from our apartment to to our house. I
think it went bad before Chow got home from her mission. I put it back
in the fridge.