My Old Testament Summer

It is really hard for me to accept that summer is coming to an end. So in all honesty I am ignoring the "back to school" business and I'm declaring that summer must last until September 20th... at least in my book.

One of the reasons I don't want this summer to end is that I have grown to love and appreciate the stories of the Old Testament. Now, I've done a study of the Old Testament in high school and during college. I've had the lesson where you eat the passover meal. I remember looking at little models of the tabernacle and what it looked like.

But this summer I have seen these stories with new eyes. I've been reading these stories to my children and I've had to simplify some things (I don't want to put the image in their minds before bed of a father sacrificing his son on an alter). But overall here's what I've learned:

• These righteous, faithful people were flawed humans. They struggled to find out the will of the Lord. They troubleshooted. They made mistakes. They were, at one time or another cheaters (Jacob). They ran away. They made what they thought was a good choice, only to have it end up costing them many personal losses (Lot choosing the land by Sodom and Gomorrah). They walked into darkness, unsure the result (Gideon). They made huge sacrifices without any physical or practical evidence that things would work out (the mother of Moses). 
• They exercised GREAT faith. Just as ridiculous as my faith sounds to many in this day, it's obvious that people did not understand God then. Time has not changed this. These people stayed the course despite the confusion or misunderstanding of others- sometimes in their own 'congregation' - sometimes their own family- and sometimes even themselves.
• God is leading us on a path- so there's movement in how things work. Whenever I hear that "God is the same yestarday, today, and forever" I feel as though it contradicts the need for growth and change as we become better disciples and as we accept and use the Atonement. So yes, God is the same, but he allows for us to grow and change. Our callings and what we are to do requires us to grow and change. God is not stagnant. But He moves, directs and guides. Not the other way around.

I'm sure there are more things that I just haven't fully meditated out just yet- but there's still time.

Because the summer is still going on for me, for 20+ days. And my Old Testament Summer will keep on going.

How To Tell If Your Neighbor is Mormon

We are the only Mormons on our block. In fact, there are two other Mormons in my subdivision that are Mormon, but they don't attend church.

As we planted our garden today, I could hear and see our neighbors peering at us curiously. Windows opening for a few minutes, then closing. Shouts to spouses,"I guess I'll go trim the bushes or something."

I thought, "I guess it is unusual to plant a garden at 9 AM on a Saturday." But really, it's just another sign to our neighbors that we're Mormon. Here are others:

1. We plant a garden at 9 am on a Saturday.

2. We have at least a kid, or we don't mind kids. Cultural stereotype is that we have a tribe of children. But I tried to leave this open for people on the spectrum of the baby process- or for those with infertility.

3. We go to church each Sunday. And Wednesdays. And sometimes on Tuesdays. And maybe even more than that because we live close to the church and help people there often.

4. The missionaries come by at least once a month for food- not just knocking on your door.

5. You've been invited to church activities. From Trunk-or-Treats to Chili Cook-Offs, you've been asked to join us.

6. Modesty. Piercings & Tatoos (or a lack thereof)

7. We don't drink, and will typically leave a party before people get unbearably intoxicated.

8. We ask you for flour or an egg. Because, yes, we bake. We make cookies from scratch.

9. We decline the invitation to read "50 Shades of Grey" and when you said it was 'graphic' we thought that meant violent.

10. We don't do a lot of stuff on Sunday, most certainly not going to the store, but possibly not working out or running or going to sporting events.

11. We can't lend you wine or beer. We just don't have it.

12. We may say things like "oh, dang" or "crow" or "cuss" or "cluster cuss" or "rat fink" instead of a swear. Most definitely we don't use the G or JC ones.

That's all I can think of, but there's one problem.

My neighbors don't read my blog.

They'll continue to peep and wonder what the Wilde's are up to.

Oh well, it felt good to write it out.

Zeniff

Every year for the past 6 years I try to read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover. I normally just get one of those blue missionary copies and read and highlight accordingly. A few years I have read the Book of Mormon and given it away as a gift. It seems kind of strange to mark a book up and then give it away. I mean, who really likes getting a used present? But those I've given it to seem to have been appreciative.

The first time I did it, I gave the copy to Russ. He seemed to really appreciate it. I can't really remember now, but I'm pretty sure he liked it.

I finally delivered the second one this past week. I had read this one in 2009. I gave it, rather returned it, to my best friend Tiff. She had given this copy of the Book of Mormon to me when we were tweens and somehow I've hung onto 10+ years. Anyway so I held onto it for a while after reading it. I was nervous to give it to her because Tiff hasn't really cared for religion for a long time. I didn't want to offend her. But last week I was mailing her some belongings she had left here and I stumbled across this Book of Mormon while looking for a pen to write the address on her package. I decided, "Why not? I'll send it."

Well, I got the best phone call from Tiff on Tuesday. She loved it. It brought her to tears (but she is pregnant so I'm not so sure that it was hard to do so). I took a moment to be so grateful to have returned that gift to her. Now, who knows what will happen. Tiff is a free spirit and will do her own thing. But she's my best friend. And I want to share my joy with her. Now if we could just get her out of the bubble she's been living in that has been judging her her whole life! She needs to come to Texas.

*************The Real Reason For This Post**************************

I bet you're wondering about know why this post is entitled "Zeniff"? If you're not, well then you're a passive reader and that's okay. Really the above is not why I wanted to make this post. But I've been formulating this post for a few days, and then Tiff called. So I stuck that in there just because it's sort of topical with this post.

Because this is about Zeniff. Zeniff is a man written about in the Book of Mormon. And he sort of makes me mad every time I read the Book of Mormon. But I'm trying to figure out what I can learn from Zeniff.

Honestly, I've always learned a lot from him. Zeniff is a "overly-anxious" Nephite that sees some good in the Lamanites. He tries to get his Nephite captain to make a treaty with the Lamanites, but this causes a fight in the army and most everyone is killed. Zeniff heads back to the Nephite people, tell the wives and children of the dead soldiers what happened and the get a band of Nephites to go back to the Lamanites and make a treaty with them. Zeniff does this, but the Lamanites put Zeniff's people in bondage, the Lamanites attack Zeniff's people, a bunch of them die, and Zeniff leaves the kingship to his son Noah. King Noah is a wicked whip who later burns Abinadi. 

So that's Zeniff's story, in a tiny nutshell. Here's what I used to get out of this story:

• Beware of dissenters and people who think they know best but have no authority. 
• Beware of people who have a "feeling" but don't have any goals.
• If a person has a good idea, and that good idea results in fighting and the killing of a lot of good people, that good idea is not worth it.
• Don't follow some guy into enemy territory.
• Don't elect leaders who lack experience, knowledge, and who are not patient. Or are overly anxious.

Really my heart would just ache when I thought of all the people who were miserable or who lost their lives just because Zeniff saw some good in some really wicked people. I still wonder what that good was. Because, once Zeniff makes his treaty with the Lamanites, all he can talk about is how awful and lazy they are.

Anyway. Here is what I now get out of this story:

• Don't be hasty. As much as I like to think that I am not a Zeniff, I could be. Reading about his life it is easy to point out his many mistakes. But I'm just as capable of relying on a hunch and refusing to see all the wrong choices I'm making.
• Maybe Zeniff didn't really want to go make a treaty with the Lamanites. Maybe it was just hard being around all the wives and children of the soldiers that had been killed because of Zeniff. In which case what I learn is this: don't cover up one bad mistake with another. Just do my part to repair & repent.
• Always pray about the big decisions in life. Don't just listen to some dud and then act on what they say. 

I guess it's not very much. But it's a start. I feel like I can learn something from everybody. I hope to keep learning more from Zeniff. And I guess if there had been no Zeniff, there would not have been an Abinadi. 

For those BoM readers, any thoughts on why I should not be so hard on Zeniff?

Non-BoM readers, anyone you hate but can see some good in them?

Oh, and sorry to C for no pictures. Well, here's one for your viewing pleasure:

This is Zeniff, Arizona. I'm assuming it was named after Zeniff in the Book of Mormon.
Anyway, Zeniff, AZ was a farming community regularly ravaged by floods.
Today it is a ghost town.
Coincidence? Or is it all in the name...

4 years ago

I left the beautiful islands of Hawai'i. I remember how much I cried. I remember how I couldn't sleep the night before. I remember leaving feeling like so many people had changed my life, and I had changed no one's. I mean, the Gospel did, but no one came to see me off at the airport. I gave Hawai'i a large piece of my heart. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

Before my mission, I hated it when returned missionaries called their mission "The Best Years" of their life. I still kind of do. I wouldn't describe my time in Hawai'i as that. I would describe it as the most selfless time of my life. The time I loved more freely than I ever have.

Hawai'i is a special place. I'm grateful to have been there. Lived in the ghettos. That I have seen a side of Hawai'i few non-residents get to see.

I secretly wish that my life would lead me back to the islands. Unfortunately every time we've planned a trip to go back, a grandma has died. But I wish our lives led us back there. I did get accepted to law school there, but with the recession it wasn't reasonable to move to a place Russ didn't have a job.

I could go on and on about the beautiful people. Oh the wonderful, beautiful people I came to know and love there! It was like being at a giant family reunion- everyone loved you. Even those who sent us away.

A few bullet point memories- more for my sake than for yours...

• Stepping off the plane and receiving multiple leis
• Not having a shower for 3 weeks
• Cockroaches! In my skirt!
• The Marshallese people. How ashamed I felt when I found out they were in Hawai'i for medical treatment due to US nuclear bomb testing near their islands. They did not resent me.
• Hawaiian sacrament meetings
• Papakolea!
• Maui- the island where I spent the bulk of my mission. Where I cried the most. Where I was harassed by the YWAMmers (Southern Baptist 'missionaries'... more like vacationers who string up dead cats at the LDS missionaries apartments)
• Sweet, sweet Annabelle. And Inmi.
• The 40 days of rain. Being trapped in Kahalu'u.
• The countless, countless Chinese families that I taught.
• The Tahitian boxer that gave up all for the Church

And so many more memories that are too special to share. So grateful that I was Called to Serve.

What Visiting Teaching Means to Me

I found myself this afternoon arguing with my mom and suddenly in tears about something I'm sure most people don't shake a stick at. Visiting Teaching. Nay-sayers please don't read on & if you post mean comments I will delete them. For me, it's not a number. It's not an assignment. It's an excuse for me to connect with women I wouldn't normally talk to about spiritual things. To go out of my way to be there friend. Currently I have 3 callings at church. Well, 4 if you count visiting teaching. None of these callings are with heavy adult interaction; they involve serving those younger than I. Now I am not complaining- I am grateful to serve. But I do long for interaction and discussion on spiritual matters with ADULTS. That is what visiting teaching is to me. It's my chance to feast upon the gospel with those who have had a lot of life experiences, who are themselves serving in callings that take them away from just sitting and soaking up the gospel in Sunday School and Relief Society. I apologize if it has ever seemed that this is an item I check on my list to get to heaven. It's not. I don't have a list. I do it because it means a lot to me. It's important to me. Just a few things that my mom brought up- she's a good lady who drives a good point. In the same note, we're all on different levels, we're all going through a lot. But we do our best to be there and to show some love. There will be months were we drop off a pie on the last day. Months where teaching companions go to visit family for the whole month. That's life; it happens. C'est la vie. That wraps it up. Those who I have visited in times gone by, I'll say what I know I have said to you face; Can I do anything for you? I love you. I really do care.

Being an Adult & Religious

As a kid, the adults at church just pulled things off. Sure, when I was a teen no one could lead me anywhere. But I always imagined that if I still went to church as an adult, it would be as smooth as easy as it had always been.

Or if anything threw me off, I would question my beliefs or church authorities.

Well, it is not so.

Being an adult, and involved in church, the biggest challenge has come from somewhere else. 

I don't know quite how to say it, to explain it. But I think the biggest challenge is working with other adult leaders. We all have goals and ways we intend to magnify our responsibilities and sometimes doing so steps on each other's toes. We may push to have our way and push someone else right out of accomplishing their duties.

I don't know how to repair this. I just know it's tough. And somehow knowing the challenge makes wading through it easier. And that's what I really intend to do- do my best to get through the challenges of it. I don't intend to quit church, I don't have any good reason to. 

What I want to know is, if anyone else has had this same challenge? I'm sure people have, but have you ever thought about it extensively, anybody ever identified this as the biggest issue in being religiously involved?

Like I said, I intend to just keep dealing with it all. It just initially took me off guard. The adults I knew never seemed to have such a struggle when I was a youngster. 

Trapped in a Box

I taught the young men and young women how to mime tonight. I think that's a pretty neat thing to learn, and to teach, the youth. I mean, it's cooler than painting a silly art project or throwing a basketball around. Anyway, it was fun! Enjoy these pics from Russ...