2014... Another Settling Year (I hope)

We are a few days into 2014 and when I look forward to this year and my expectations one phrase comes to mind: get it done.

There is so much to do, to settle, to establish. The house, the land, new schedules, having a baby, the finances, and getting back into my hobbies (yoga, ballet, etc.).

I must admit, I feel daunted. It's not a year of changes (I hope). It's a year of getting this life established so instead of spending my Saturday painting, I just clean and work the land in future years.

It's a year to keep slashing down debt so that in ten years our bills are limited to the necessities of life- not student loans. Ugh that one is daunting.

I wish it were a year with trips to France, Canada, Utah, Hawaii, and Arizona.

But I think we'll be lucky to do a birthday getaway to the coast.

In the long run, I'll be grateful for this year.

But for today, while I wait for the paint in the bathroom to dry before I put on the second coat, today I am daunted.

These are our goals from a party with friends on New Years- Everyone's goals... not just mine!!!

Christmas

This year the checklists are going by not totally completed. The decorations are not entirely up around the house. The advent calendar doors are not all being opened.

But we've had giggles on the couch.

We've had visits to Christmas lights all over, and seen Santa a few times.

We've made cookies and we'll have our home filled with dear friends to celebrate.

This year, it's not about the lists.

It's not about being the cutest most funnest family on the block.

It's not about keeping up with the traditions of other families.

It's about MY FAMILY.

It's about helping those we can, within our means, and when we can help them.

It's about being nice to strangers we see, walking around with a smile on our face, and then just enjoying our time together.

Hope yours is just as well.

Tis the season to have joy and be happy and be satisfied with the life you have.


Merry Christmas season to you.

May the next 11 days be full of peace and wonder.


Sincerely,

Chow (and the Wilde family)

Life of a Parent (Mormon, and compulsively productive)

I have come to the conclusion that being a mom has taken my approach to life and multiplied it.

Add in a faith of being "anxiously engaged in a good cause" and there's enough productivity for 10 people.

Here's my morning thus far:

Got myself ready-including shaving my legs!

Finished prepping a seminary lesson

Teaching two seminary lessons

Decent oatmeal/oj breakfast

Packed up baby clothes

Packed my daughter's backpack

Took the dog/dtr for a walk

Made it on time to work.

And it's only 8:15 am...

Random Thoughts

A few thoughts on my mind since I last blogged (which was like 2 hours ago):

Conversation with one of my seminary students, who also mows my lawn & babysits for me and stuff:

Me: Can you mow the lawn today (Saturday)
Him: No, but I can tomorrow.
Me: No, tomorrow is Sunday.
Him: I'll just bring my family with me and then do it.
Me: No. It's not just about being with your family. It's about keeping the sabbath day holy.
Him: .... (looks puzzled)
Me: On the seventh day God rested. He wasn't secretly making flowers somewhere. He was resting.

Him: (gets it) Oh, yeah. Well maybe he was, you just need to read inbetween the lines and it says he was.

*Cracks me up!*

--------------------------------------

Best Movie I've seen this year? Hmmm... I think "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Just watched it again (it's short)

The movie is beautiful poetry.

Here's my favorite line from it:

Hushpuppy: When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard, it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece in a big, big universe. And that makes things right. 

Plans, then Life.

When we got married we took great care to avoid sweeps, as in television news sweeps. We avoided February for this reason. We thought march wold be perfect. That March 16 was perfect, because it is the day before Russ's favorite holiday.

Then we moved to Texas.

And there was a little festival called SXSW.

And our anniversary is spent with Russ covering the festival or resting up from a crazy work week.

Sad to say, our anniversary's have become simple in celebration. And this year, being a not so great celebration year of #6, we shall again keep it simple.

A post-wedding trip to the Salt Lick, and then maybe working on my kitchen light remodel some more.

I don't mind- this year.

And as much as I'd like to think it'll get better in the future, I try not to plan. Because you make plans, and then life happens.

I'm an insta!

I got on Instagram this weekend. While it is fun to post pictures an look at my friends' posts, I am obsessed with looking at two hashtags:

#lds
#ilovemymissionary


It is inspiring to see lds people living their faith and going through the long distance missionary relationship. Check it out! Faith is amazing!

How To Tell If Your Neighbor is Mormon

We are the only Mormons on our block. In fact, there are two other Mormons in my subdivision that are Mormon, but they don't attend church.

As we planted our garden today, I could hear and see our neighbors peering at us curiously. Windows opening for a few minutes, then closing. Shouts to spouses,"I guess I'll go trim the bushes or something."

I thought, "I guess it is unusual to plant a garden at 9 AM on a Saturday." But really, it's just another sign to our neighbors that we're Mormon. Here are others:

1. We plant a garden at 9 am on a Saturday.

2. We have at least a kid, or we don't mind kids. Cultural stereotype is that we have a tribe of children. But I tried to leave this open for people on the spectrum of the baby process- or for those with infertility.

3. We go to church each Sunday. And Wednesdays. And sometimes on Tuesdays. And maybe even more than that because we live close to the church and help people there often.

4. The missionaries come by at least once a month for food- not just knocking on your door.

5. You've been invited to church activities. From Trunk-or-Treats to Chili Cook-Offs, you've been asked to join us.

6. Modesty. Piercings & Tatoos (or a lack thereof)

7. We don't drink, and will typically leave a party before people get unbearably intoxicated.

8. We ask you for flour or an egg. Because, yes, we bake. We make cookies from scratch.

9. We decline the invitation to read "50 Shades of Grey" and when you said it was 'graphic' we thought that meant violent.

10. We don't do a lot of stuff on Sunday, most certainly not going to the store, but possibly not working out or running or going to sporting events.

11. We can't lend you wine or beer. We just don't have it.

12. We may say things like "oh, dang" or "crow" or "cuss" or "cluster cuss" or "rat fink" instead of a swear. Most definitely we don't use the G or JC ones.

That's all I can think of, but there's one problem.

My neighbors don't read my blog.

They'll continue to peep and wonder what the Wilde's are up to.

Oh well, it felt good to write it out.

Fighting the Good Fight

We all make choices in life. That affect the rest of our life. I realized at my conference today that my chosen profession means giving up some things. Well, at least how the world is now. But the world can change. Now I just face the likelihood of the consequences of my career path.

Here are what I think they are...

• Being poor. Well, maybe not poor exactly. But that Jetta I've wanted since I was a teenager? Yeah, it's probably not going to happen.
• Not a lot of appreciation or "Thank you's"
• Nightmares. Stuff you just can't get out of your head.
• Hmm... How do I put this one? Probably not going to be in Young Womens anytime ever.
• Overly Cautious when out in the community.
• Knowing too much about neighbors/family/friends.
• Quickly judging others about lying or telling the truth. Can't afford not to.
• Never being able to watch any Legal TV Show ever without getting angry about it. 
• Being overly protective of children, especially my own.

But... at the same time, there are benefits:

• Being able to say that I make my community a better place.
• Victories that can make you smile weeks after they happen.
• Having a quiet, sustaining spiritual life.
• Having motivations to run it out, always.
• Being overly cautious and protective. (it's good and bad)
• Having coworkers and a team to work with. Never standing alone.
• Having a intellectually stimulating job. Lots to think about and work out.
• Steady work schedule, most of the time.
• Being able to "do it all". Not many jobs let you bring your kid to work, work from home, or wear sweat pants to work. Very grateful for that!

There are good things and bad things about these serious choices we make. I think, in the end, the good will outweigh the bad. Perhaps the best part about this it that I am where I am supposed to be.

Life is good!

This week is kicking my butt

This week I've been in training in Austin for my job and it has thrown my little life topsy turvy.
Spending 2 hours in traffic on the road makes me angry, tired, and just grumpy. I don't know how people drive that every day!

And to be honest, I am spoiled. I live 3 miles from my office.

It reminded me of when I went to Russ's work Christmas party.

Many working moms asked me how I was adjusting to being a working mom and how hard it was. I responded that it wasn't that hard at all. Everything is close, so I'm not spending a ton of time driving that could be spent together. We still get that together time.

And Russ is the one who gets her out the door every morning, so my mornings Ernest really disrupted.

But this week, I am feeling it. I am feeling the tiredness of working and the lack of energy to do anything but play with my family each night.

On top of it all, today I learned that a dear fried, mama Hayes died this morning. She was a force of good in this world. She was absolutely inspiring. I miss her already.

So, in short, this week has been awful. It has made me grateful for the life I normally get to live. Here's to the weekend coming up soon, and good elks full of routine in the future.

(Artwork by my niece, Georgia. It makes me smile)

Hello 2013

I should be cleaning my house and finish putting away Christmas but...

It's cold! And I'll start in 8 minutes!

Here's what I'm looking forward to in 2013:

(Not goals... just looking forward to all this!!!)

• Finishing "Team of Rivals". I have 2 chapters to go. So what if it took me 3 years to finish this book???
• Kitchen Remodel (perhaps starting over MLK weekend?)
• More yoga- hopefully becoming a Level 2 teacher!
• Running my first 1/2 marathon!
• Redecorating my kitchen and downstairs (I'm thinking gray and yellow in the kitchen, and some strong black accents in the living room.
• More time with Russ, Phoe, and being home.

Life is good! Bring on the joys and challenges that will be this year!

Goodbye 2012...

Goodbye law school.
And bar exam.

Goodbye Waco.
Goodbye stress and worry and studying every night.

Thank you, 2012, for the lessons and the memories. I am grateful for all I learned, for friends I call dear, for family and unconditional love. I've grown, learned, and changed. I am a better person than I was when 2012 started. Thank you...but let's not do it again!

Blue Sundays

Sundays have kind of become my least favorite day of the week. I'm trying to fix it, and I don't mean to complain. But I think the first step in improving or fixing something is to look at the whys of what is going on.

Sundays in the Wilde house start at 5:30 or 6 am. Russ gets up to go to church meetings.

I then start getting myself ready. At some point P wakes up and I get her fed and dressed.

Most Sundays we arrive at church at 8:15, for ward choir practice- which is a frustrating experience on it's own accord. Let's just say I'm learning patience in these practices, but I'm not a very good student of patience.

Then I wrestle P to be quiet in sacrament meeting. Well, I wrestle her to be quiet and I try to prevent her from seriously injuring herself by smacking her head on the pews. Some Sundays I quit and we just sit in the primary room.

After sacrament meeting, it's off to primary. Where P fends for herself while I put out fires (teachers missing, kids that are lost, chairs not set up, etc.). Sometimes P doesn't do so well on her own and so I lug her around while I do all this stuff. I'll sit down in primary to mark the attendance rolls but I'll be interrupted by children who come late to primary. Seriously about 10 kids trickle in over the first 45 minutes.

If I get my attendance done, I move over to other tasks- like birthdays or assigning talks. Typically more fires pop up- a child needs to be taken to their parent due to misbehavior, a teacher has to leave, or something in nursery.

And then P needs to be fed or changed or something- all right there in the back of the primary room.

When church is done, I get loaded up in the car and we go home.

We wait for Russ to get home at 2ish and then have lunch.

Then I go to choir at 4:30 and if I'm lucky I'm home before 7. P gets in bed at 8:30. We try to Skype with family in there. Then it's time to get ready for Monday.

It's not that I don't like this schedule... it's just so busy. I have to say that choir is my uplift. Everything else is just survival. I miss enjoying and feeling the Spirit at church. I miss listening to lessons and sharing comments and participating.

I am trying to figure out ways to study more on my own each Sunday.

Perhaps I just need to do better at it. Especially early in the morning.

I just don't like that it's almost 9:30 pm and I have a sinkful of lunch dishes to do, baby food to make, and I'm contemplating going in early to work to prep for a few hearings I have set at 9 am.

Don't mean to complain. Just trying to work out how I can change my Sundays back from being so blue.

Back Again

Blogging seems to be an ebb and flow for me. A series of starts and stops.

Here I start again.

I guess I'll start with this.

Parenting.

Fatherhood.

I get a large look at society in my what I do everyday. I have one consistent question.

Where are the parents?

More particularly, where are the fathers?

As I've ventured into parenthood with Russ, I am so grateful he's by my side and not someone else. I've tried to describe our parenting style and I think I can explain it as this: co-parenting.

Most of you may thing- is there any other form?

Well. I think a lot of the time one parent is dominant. Moms tend to be primary caregivers, to be honest.

But it seems with Russ and I we are 50/50. He gets Phoenix ready in the morning and takes her to school. I pick her up and get her ready for bed. Together we read her bedtime stories. 

I do her laundry and clean her room.

Russ goes to the Parent-Teacher Org. meetings and washes he food bottles.

This blog is really more of a free-flow of thought.

but our society needs more parents. More fathers.

Children do not need more friends. They need more direction.

I heard it this way recently- Children need a backbone, not a wishbone.

I think this is why I have come to loathe tv shows like Glee and the like. It turns kids into dreamers instead of workers. Kids today focus so much on developing a personalilty and becoming a unique butterfly that they don't work or learn.

well guess what? Often, it is while you are doing and working you develop who you are. 

Ok, this is turning into a rant. A slightly angry rant! It's time I back off and go run errands.

until next time!

The life of a NICU parent

This is a NICU parent.

So is this.

Here are a few thoughts I have on being a NICU parent:

• Spend every moment you can with your baby.
• Sleep when your body makes you sleep.
• Go home to sleep and end up crying for an hour about the little one you left at the hospital.
• You meet a stranger while washing your hands to see your baby. You don't make small talk. You ask, "How early was yours born?" or "What's your baby in for?"
• Ask the nurses every question you can think of. But really, you have no idea what's going on.
• Sleep in the waiting room (Yes, I've slept on that couch where the man in the first picture is sleeping).
• Sleep when you hold your baby (until the nurse comes in).
• Sleep when they close the NICU for 1 hr and a half.
• Sleep in the McDonald charity room while a family of 10 wait in there with you.
• Sleep when you wait for food to come at a restaurant.
• Put up with any sort of restrictions you get put on you, like this:

Yes, Phoenix is in isolation. We must mask, gown, and glove before we see her. 

We can't go anywhere else in the NICU.

But there's really no complaint to be given. 

Because this is worth it:

And because your baby is not the baby that was born at 23 weeks and is in the corner fighting for their life.

And your baby is not the baby that's been in the NICU for 5 weeks.

And your baby is not taking major step backwards, like suddenly developing a diaphragm problem the day they're supposed to go home.

And you don't have other kids at home that you have to divide your time between- your newborn and your other kiddos.

But really.

This is worth it.

Re-entering Blogging with an Update

How far along? 

31 Weeks

Total weight gain:

17 lbs. Lost a few lbs. this past week. Not on purpose- due to stress I think.

Maternity clothes? 

Yes. Loving the cute styles.

Stretch marks? 

Just one on each side. I look like I'm wearing racer pants when I'm well, not.

Best moment this week:  

Understanding Spud's movements. When someone is talking in a mean 

tone, or loudly, or maybe Spud just doesn't like them, 

Spud hides under my right rib. Whole body.

 It's fun to feel Spud fold up on one side.

Miss Anything? 

Yoga. I miss being able to fold up, stretch out and just enjoy a good practice.

Movement:

Lots. I can tell when it's a hand wave, a kick, or when 

Spud pedals along my stomach.

Food cravings: 

None. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: 

No.

Gender: 

We're going to be surprised.

Labor Signs: 

I don't think so. I figure I will know it when I feel it.

Symptoms: 

None, really. Russ has to buckle my shoes most days.

But I can still see my feet and paint 

my own toenails.

Belly Button in or out? 

In. 

Wedding rings on or off? 

On- and very loose.

Happy or Moody most of the time: 

Happy and giggly. Surprisingly optimistic about everything- even 

the hard things.

Looking forward to: 

My mom coming down Thanksgiving to help set everything up.

The Watermelon- Previously Known as The Spud

So remember a few posts ago when I said every 5 weeks I'd be taking a baby bump picture?

If you don't, well, let me fill you in. When I was 15 weeks pregnant I said that every 5 weeks I'd take an updated photo. But when the time came around for that next picture, Russ and I received some... questionable commentary from our doctor who subsequently sent us to a specialist the following week.

Without having many answers, I didn't feel like taking a picture that weekend. And, unfortunately, the specialist didn't have any answers either. Yet. Hopefully we'll know more later this month. I will keep you posted.

I don't want to sound a false alarm, so I don't think I really want to go into much on here. Suffice it to say that our Spud needs to get bigger. I thought that if Russ and I start calling the baby "Watermelon," Spud would be encouraged to grow. Even though I don't think the word 'watermelon' is part of the fetal language. Still...

I will write a little update about other things about Watermelon right now. I've been thinking about it for the past few days regarding pregnancy. Things that I want to remember or that people (particularly my sister-in-law Erika) tell me I should remember about pregnancy.

1. I love to eat mashed potatoes and cheerios.
2. I have night terrors. Awful, vivid dreams that are straight out of horror movies. I hate this.
3. We felt the first kicks on Sept. 2
4. I have polished off my first container of Tums.
5. I am finally feeling tired. Like I don't have the energy I normally do. I know this is expected, but I expected it to come earlier in pregnancy. Like 5 months ago.
6. I am more weepy than I was earlier too. I also thought this would come earlier. But it's just been the past two weeks.
7. We have no idea if Watermelon is a boy or girl. Even the sonogram tech's can't tell. This baby wants to be mysterious.

I think that's it. Well, until the next pregnancy post in a few weeks- Grow, Watermelon, Grow!

Yesterday

I ate this for Lunch.
Cool Mint Cafe.
With Hil.
A tradition.

It rained for the first time in a long time in San Marcos

I learned that tiny people are really cool.
Even if some people think they are too tiny.

My Visiting Teacher Got Married

 Rebecca has been my visiting teacher for the past little bit. And she's been awesome. The past 6 months have been a tough challenge for me. Rebecca was always on hand to give encouragement, bring an uplifting message, or come and bake cookies with me. I've referred to her as my 'angel'.

So what do you do, as a visiting teachee, when your angel is suddenly swept off her feet?

You Celebrate with Her.

You throw her a Bridal Shower- well co-throw along with Michelle
(the awesome best friend, room mate, and my dear friend!)

You make up a crazy theme: Movies. Every gift must have a movie reference.
Example: Pillows- While You Were Sleeping

Then, along with the Relief Society, you make her a quilt.

And finally, you show up to celebrate her big day! YAY!

Sure will miss her, but I know we'll always stay close! 

CONGRATS JOSEPH & REBECCA!!!

You know you're in-between law school quarters when...

• The most important thing you do is make a PB & J.
• You sleep in until 8 or 9 and it's still too early.
• One game: Monsters
• You put on make up and do your hair. Just about everyday!

And the best part is:

• You get to see your husband every day.

One more week! Hooray!

F-A-M-I-L-Y

I've got a thousand things to blog about, but there's one thought I just can't get out of my mind. So, here it is.

I went to a women's retreat with my sister last week. We sat in a lecture about "motivation." I was pretty optimistic about it, signed us up for it, because my sister wanted to be more motivated in her life.

Well, it was a disaster. The guy went on and on about how Jesus should motivate us to do everything- the laundry, to work out, etc. My sister is not a Christian so she was quickly unmotivated by his schpeal. I tried to listen and take something away from it.

But he told a story that was ridiculous. It made me feel that this guy, this speaker, had no idea how his priorities should be. He told a story of speaking at this women's retreat years ago when his wife was pregnant. He really wanted to speak and thought it was so important that he asked his wife if he could speak instead of be at the hospital when she delivered. His wife said it was okay.

And he spoke at this women's retreat while his wife gave birth.

Something is wrong with this. The priorities are all askew, at least in my view (if you see it differently, let me know).

Later on the trip I was talking with a sibling who will not be able to make it to my law school graduation or Spud's baby blessing.

Now, I've been guilty of not attending family events. Because we live in Texas and I can't afford to fly up all the time for the events.

But my sibling couldn't make it because of cost. Admittedly, they could drive. But time off work was the issue. Because 75% of their vacation time is reserved for a church calling.

After the experience at the retreat, this rubbed me the wrong way. Normally, I don't think that it would bother me. But that speaker made me feel like sometimes we get things all twisted around regarding our family. Is it too much to ask for one year, one time to forego a church calling? At what point do we put our family first? When it's convenient? When we can afford it? When it doesn't conflict with other our opportunity to lead and help others?

Still thinking about this. Not sure I have an answer.