Special Memory

Tonight the entire Wilde Family went to teach a single mom and her five kids. 

They're in a tough spot and trying to make a fresh start. The elders taught a great lesson about how the gospel blesses families. 

Then the best lesson happened. My 3 year old said the prayer to end the meeting. 

Sure, she's prayed before with us. But never in front of a crowd. I was amazed. What an example she is of living the gospel at a young age. A natural at it I guess. 

My Old Testament Summer

It is really hard for me to accept that summer is coming to an end. So in all honesty I am ignoring the "back to school" business and I'm declaring that summer must last until September 20th... at least in my book.

One of the reasons I don't want this summer to end is that I have grown to love and appreciate the stories of the Old Testament. Now, I've done a study of the Old Testament in high school and during college. I've had the lesson where you eat the passover meal. I remember looking at little models of the tabernacle and what it looked like.

But this summer I have seen these stories with new eyes. I've been reading these stories to my children and I've had to simplify some things (I don't want to put the image in their minds before bed of a father sacrificing his son on an alter). But overall here's what I've learned:

• These righteous, faithful people were flawed humans. They struggled to find out the will of the Lord. They troubleshooted. They made mistakes. They were, at one time or another cheaters (Jacob). They ran away. They made what they thought was a good choice, only to have it end up costing them many personal losses (Lot choosing the land by Sodom and Gomorrah). They walked into darkness, unsure the result (Gideon). They made huge sacrifices without any physical or practical evidence that things would work out (the mother of Moses). 
• They exercised GREAT faith. Just as ridiculous as my faith sounds to many in this day, it's obvious that people did not understand God then. Time has not changed this. These people stayed the course despite the confusion or misunderstanding of others- sometimes in their own 'congregation' - sometimes their own family- and sometimes even themselves.
• God is leading us on a path- so there's movement in how things work. Whenever I hear that "God is the same yestarday, today, and forever" I feel as though it contradicts the need for growth and change as we become better disciples and as we accept and use the Atonement. So yes, God is the same, but he allows for us to grow and change. Our callings and what we are to do requires us to grow and change. God is not stagnant. But He moves, directs and guides. Not the other way around.

I'm sure there are more things that I just haven't fully meditated out just yet- but there's still time.

Because the summer is still going on for me, for 20+ days. And my Old Testament Summer will keep on going.

Just be happy

I love mornings at my house. It is a race to get everything done- because I want my own time to run and play with my baby- and because I have a daily chore list around the farm - and because I pack my own lunch. You get the idea. I pack a lot in. 

I also love my job. I love the complex situations I get to deal with. 

And then I love the evening. The fight at dinner time that we make "happy plates". The occasional "break" (time outs) so we can all get along. The howling with the baby so she develops verbal skills. 

I love it all. Sure it's a mess. But I choose to be happy. To put the people in my life first. 

And that's what life is about. Enjoying the journey- the puke, poops, and tears. The messes. The whole deal. It makes me happy. 

Peace

Feeling peace after only day one of General Conference. I realized my pain, frustration, and fatigue the last few months was really my own feelings of inadequacy for the responsibilities in my life. 

I am broken, imperfect, and humbled. 

And that is life. And life is good. 

P sleeping in a pew at conference. 

I'm an insta!

I got on Instagram this weekend. While it is fun to post pictures an look at my friends' posts, I am obsessed with looking at two hashtags:

#lds
#ilovemymissionary


It is inspiring to see lds people living their faith and going through the long distance missionary relationship. Check it out! Faith is amazing!

How To Tell If Your Neighbor is Mormon

We are the only Mormons on our block. In fact, there are two other Mormons in my subdivision that are Mormon, but they don't attend church.

As we planted our garden today, I could hear and see our neighbors peering at us curiously. Windows opening for a few minutes, then closing. Shouts to spouses,"I guess I'll go trim the bushes or something."

I thought, "I guess it is unusual to plant a garden at 9 AM on a Saturday." But really, it's just another sign to our neighbors that we're Mormon. Here are others:

1. We plant a garden at 9 am on a Saturday.

2. We have at least a kid, or we don't mind kids. Cultural stereotype is that we have a tribe of children. But I tried to leave this open for people on the spectrum of the baby process- or for those with infertility.

3. We go to church each Sunday. And Wednesdays. And sometimes on Tuesdays. And maybe even more than that because we live close to the church and help people there often.

4. The missionaries come by at least once a month for food- not just knocking on your door.

5. You've been invited to church activities. From Trunk-or-Treats to Chili Cook-Offs, you've been asked to join us.

6. Modesty. Piercings & Tatoos (or a lack thereof)

7. We don't drink, and will typically leave a party before people get unbearably intoxicated.

8. We ask you for flour or an egg. Because, yes, we bake. We make cookies from scratch.

9. We decline the invitation to read "50 Shades of Grey" and when you said it was 'graphic' we thought that meant violent.

10. We don't do a lot of stuff on Sunday, most certainly not going to the store, but possibly not working out or running or going to sporting events.

11. We can't lend you wine or beer. We just don't have it.

12. We may say things like "oh, dang" or "crow" or "cuss" or "cluster cuss" or "rat fink" instead of a swear. Most definitely we don't use the G or JC ones.

That's all I can think of, but there's one problem.

My neighbors don't read my blog.

They'll continue to peep and wonder what the Wilde's are up to.

Oh well, it felt good to write it out.

Blue Sundays

Sundays have kind of become my least favorite day of the week. I'm trying to fix it, and I don't mean to complain. But I think the first step in improving or fixing something is to look at the whys of what is going on.

Sundays in the Wilde house start at 5:30 or 6 am. Russ gets up to go to church meetings.

I then start getting myself ready. At some point P wakes up and I get her fed and dressed.

Most Sundays we arrive at church at 8:15, for ward choir practice- which is a frustrating experience on it's own accord. Let's just say I'm learning patience in these practices, but I'm not a very good student of patience.

Then I wrestle P to be quiet in sacrament meeting. Well, I wrestle her to be quiet and I try to prevent her from seriously injuring herself by smacking her head on the pews. Some Sundays I quit and we just sit in the primary room.

After sacrament meeting, it's off to primary. Where P fends for herself while I put out fires (teachers missing, kids that are lost, chairs not set up, etc.). Sometimes P doesn't do so well on her own and so I lug her around while I do all this stuff. I'll sit down in primary to mark the attendance rolls but I'll be interrupted by children who come late to primary. Seriously about 10 kids trickle in over the first 45 minutes.

If I get my attendance done, I move over to other tasks- like birthdays or assigning talks. Typically more fires pop up- a child needs to be taken to their parent due to misbehavior, a teacher has to leave, or something in nursery.

And then P needs to be fed or changed or something- all right there in the back of the primary room.

When church is done, I get loaded up in the car and we go home.

We wait for Russ to get home at 2ish and then have lunch.

Then I go to choir at 4:30 and if I'm lucky I'm home before 7. P gets in bed at 8:30. We try to Skype with family in there. Then it's time to get ready for Monday.

It's not that I don't like this schedule... it's just so busy. I have to say that choir is my uplift. Everything else is just survival. I miss enjoying and feeling the Spirit at church. I miss listening to lessons and sharing comments and participating.

I am trying to figure out ways to study more on my own each Sunday.

Perhaps I just need to do better at it. Especially early in the morning.

I just don't like that it's almost 9:30 pm and I have a sinkful of lunch dishes to do, baby food to make, and I'm contemplating going in early to work to prep for a few hearings I have set at 9 am.

Don't mean to complain. Just trying to work out how I can change my Sundays back from being so blue.

Quiet Dignity

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately, although I haven't really known it was called "Quiet Dignity" while I've been thinking about it. But this morning I realized that the thoughts on my mind lately have actually been summed up in these words - quiet dignity.

Quiet dignity is something LDS missionaries are instructed to seek for on their mission. I think it's in the little white handbook we carried around. Or maybe it was just in my mission rules.

Either way, it's doing what's right without making a big deal out of it. It's flying below the radar, but still living true to your testimony.

I've had a calling change at church recently and I have the opportunity to work with some women who are great examples of quiet dignity. They have a calming presence that makes the stress and weight of the world go away. And that says a lot as I study for the bar exam!

At the same time, I've noticed a lot about LDS people in the media that seem to be very flashy and shocking and really in-your-face. It's kind of bothered me. Not what they're doing, but just how they're doing it. I guess I almost feel disappointed that there's such a stir about just being a good person.

And then there's part of me that feels like it's about the attention and not what they're doing. While I agree with some of what I've seen in the media about LDS people, I don't think they need to make a media scene to live what they believe. I can't help think that more meaningful than a blog post, a march, a angry rant on Facebook, or anything of the like, the more meaningful thing is being a friend, listening to a person who is struggling, having dinner with someone you know needs support, etc. etc.

And what I see in the media is not quiet dignity. I'm kind of disappointed in that.

Now, I am also an old lady. Well, I think I have the soul of a grandma. I've come to not care to be a spectacle or a freak show. I don't want people in my life who want to just see the drama of my life. I just want a few good friends and family members to peaceably live out my days with in laughter, tears, and lots of tasty food.

I feel like I've had my day in the sun. The other day I was thinking about how excited I am to turn 30. Well, I still have a couple years before that, but I feel like I have completely exhausted my 20's. I feel as though I have lived them to the fullest and I am ready to be old. And boring. And mature or whatever. Maybe I am just really tired from studying for the bar. Although I am far from prepared for it.

And somehow this all relates back to my original thought of Quiet Dignity. I am inspired by these women I spoke of earlier. I want to be like them. I want to be a person who quietly goes about her life and just does what's right without being loud.

So that is what I am working on now. Aside from the bar exam and everything else in life, I am striving for quiet dignity.

Also I've been addicted to Fredericksburg peaches lately.
So tasty. 

My Visiting Teacher Got Married

 Rebecca has been my visiting teacher for the past little bit. And she's been awesome. The past 6 months have been a tough challenge for me. Rebecca was always on hand to give encouragement, bring an uplifting message, or come and bake cookies with me. I've referred to her as my 'angel'.

So what do you do, as a visiting teachee, when your angel is suddenly swept off her feet?

You Celebrate with Her.

You throw her a Bridal Shower- well co-throw along with Michelle
(the awesome best friend, room mate, and my dear friend!)

You make up a crazy theme: Movies. Every gift must have a movie reference.
Example: Pillows- While You Were Sleeping

Then, along with the Relief Society, you make her a quilt.

And finally, you show up to celebrate her big day! YAY!

Sure will miss her, but I know we'll always stay close! 

CONGRATS JOSEPH & REBECCA!!!

Zeniff

Every year for the past 6 years I try to read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover. I normally just get one of those blue missionary copies and read and highlight accordingly. A few years I have read the Book of Mormon and given it away as a gift. It seems kind of strange to mark a book up and then give it away. I mean, who really likes getting a used present? But those I've given it to seem to have been appreciative.

The first time I did it, I gave the copy to Russ. He seemed to really appreciate it. I can't really remember now, but I'm pretty sure he liked it.

I finally delivered the second one this past week. I had read this one in 2009. I gave it, rather returned it, to my best friend Tiff. She had given this copy of the Book of Mormon to me when we were tweens and somehow I've hung onto 10+ years. Anyway so I held onto it for a while after reading it. I was nervous to give it to her because Tiff hasn't really cared for religion for a long time. I didn't want to offend her. But last week I was mailing her some belongings she had left here and I stumbled across this Book of Mormon while looking for a pen to write the address on her package. I decided, "Why not? I'll send it."

Well, I got the best phone call from Tiff on Tuesday. She loved it. It brought her to tears (but she is pregnant so I'm not so sure that it was hard to do so). I took a moment to be so grateful to have returned that gift to her. Now, who knows what will happen. Tiff is a free spirit and will do her own thing. But she's my best friend. And I want to share my joy with her. Now if we could just get her out of the bubble she's been living in that has been judging her her whole life! She needs to come to Texas.

*************The Real Reason For This Post**************************

I bet you're wondering about know why this post is entitled "Zeniff"? If you're not, well then you're a passive reader and that's okay. Really the above is not why I wanted to make this post. But I've been formulating this post for a few days, and then Tiff called. So I stuck that in there just because it's sort of topical with this post.

Because this is about Zeniff. Zeniff is a man written about in the Book of Mormon. And he sort of makes me mad every time I read the Book of Mormon. But I'm trying to figure out what I can learn from Zeniff.

Honestly, I've always learned a lot from him. Zeniff is a "overly-anxious" Nephite that sees some good in the Lamanites. He tries to get his Nephite captain to make a treaty with the Lamanites, but this causes a fight in the army and most everyone is killed. Zeniff heads back to the Nephite people, tell the wives and children of the dead soldiers what happened and the get a band of Nephites to go back to the Lamanites and make a treaty with them. Zeniff does this, but the Lamanites put Zeniff's people in bondage, the Lamanites attack Zeniff's people, a bunch of them die, and Zeniff leaves the kingship to his son Noah. King Noah is a wicked whip who later burns Abinadi. 

So that's Zeniff's story, in a tiny nutshell. Here's what I used to get out of this story:

• Beware of dissenters and people who think they know best but have no authority. 
• Beware of people who have a "feeling" but don't have any goals.
• If a person has a good idea, and that good idea results in fighting and the killing of a lot of good people, that good idea is not worth it.
• Don't follow some guy into enemy territory.
• Don't elect leaders who lack experience, knowledge, and who are not patient. Or are overly anxious.

Really my heart would just ache when I thought of all the people who were miserable or who lost their lives just because Zeniff saw some good in some really wicked people. I still wonder what that good was. Because, once Zeniff makes his treaty with the Lamanites, all he can talk about is how awful and lazy they are.

Anyway. Here is what I now get out of this story:

• Don't be hasty. As much as I like to think that I am not a Zeniff, I could be. Reading about his life it is easy to point out his many mistakes. But I'm just as capable of relying on a hunch and refusing to see all the wrong choices I'm making.
• Maybe Zeniff didn't really want to go make a treaty with the Lamanites. Maybe it was just hard being around all the wives and children of the soldiers that had been killed because of Zeniff. In which case what I learn is this: don't cover up one bad mistake with another. Just do my part to repair & repent.
• Always pray about the big decisions in life. Don't just listen to some dud and then act on what they say. 

I guess it's not very much. But it's a start. I feel like I can learn something from everybody. I hope to keep learning more from Zeniff. And I guess if there had been no Zeniff, there would not have been an Abinadi. 

For those BoM readers, any thoughts on why I should not be so hard on Zeniff?

Non-BoM readers, anyone you hate but can see some good in them?

Oh, and sorry to C for no pictures. Well, here's one for your viewing pleasure:

This is Zeniff, Arizona. I'm assuming it was named after Zeniff in the Book of Mormon.
Anyway, Zeniff, AZ was a farming community regularly ravaged by floods.
Today it is a ghost town.
Coincidence? Or is it all in the name...

General Conference

Maybe I'm a pessimist, but every time General Conference rolls around I always think, "There's no way they can beat last time!"

But I am always proven wrong. Yesterday and Today have been NO exception. I was amazed with the understanding that came from every talk. My prayers were answered, my cup has been filled, and I am rejuvenated.

Two of my favorites were Elder Cook's talk and Elder Scott's talk.

Elder Cook's talk (the gems that I love):

• LDS Women are incredible! And it's true! I often feel this way about the sisters I get to teach in Relief Society.
• Every sister has a different circumstance. It is not our place to judge their choices and what we think they should do. We just need to love. I loved this because every major choice I've made has been made after prayerful, serious consideration. It can be frustrating that after all this some random person thinks they can tell me that my choice was wrong. This part of his talk made me feel empowered.
• The bishop delegates so that he may spend time with his family. I really took this to heart this time around.

Elder Scott's talk (the gems that I love):

• He talked about when he and his sweet wife were married. If you don't know his story, I recommend you find it. They are an amazing example of true and lasting love. He has never remarried and I think she died more than ten years ago.
• He talked about the notes they send to each other and how, at the time, they seemed so insignificant. But after she passed away, he realized that she had saved them and she had treasured them. 
• Enjoy marriage, become unified.

Ah! I just loved Conference! I know it'll be even better in October!!!

Church During Recovery

So I really wanted to go to church on Sunday, even though I had been in so much pain on Saturday night. As pictured in my earlier post, I got ready with my mom's help.

We showed up at church and sat on the back row. I brought my rice bag (a fabric bag full of rice that you warm up in the microwave. It's like a poor man's heating pad) for my shoulders. I was still in some pain. We sat down and the meeting began. After about 20 minutes into the meeting (just after the sacrament was passed for those Mo'mons out there) my rice bag was cold and I asked my mom to warm it up for me. She promptly went to the kitchen and warmed it up. When she came back she said to me, "it's kind of hot, it keeps making a crackle and pop sound." Sure enough, it was. But my shoulders were in pain and I didn't mind the bonus heat.

As the meeting proceeded, a counselor in the bishopric got up and ran outside. Although this is strange, it's happened before in our San Marcos Ward. Once, while Russ was speaking in church, a man had a heart attack. A lot of people left in the middle of that meeting. No, not because of Russ, they left to help the man having a heart attack! Sidenote: our church is next to the hospital so the man is ok and got quick medical attention.


Anyway, I thought nothing of the bishopric member leaving. The meeting proceeded and it was a wonderful meeting. It was a fast & testimony meeting. I was glad that I attended. Then, five minutes before the meeting ended, I felt those little feelings telling me to share my testimony. Now before you get too excited, I didn't get up and give a long crazy testimony due to the pain meds. I gave a very short testimony because I knew if I didn't, that I would say something crazy. So I kept it short and sat down before the room began spinning.

But my mom had walked me up there and she then bore her testimony. And I think hearing her testimony is the reason why I felt that I should bear my testimony (because she wouldn't have gotten up on her because she's a visitor and has some sort of policy about that). Anyway, here's what I remember that she said that I want to remember:

• When she was raising 5 kids on her own she thought she was raising 5 juvenile delinquents but she kept on taking us to church and stuff.
• Her attempts to have FHE were normally family fights that started and ended with prayer (so true. I remember these).
• Even though life sucks right now, just remember: THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

After that the meeting shortly ended we spoke a few words with some friends and headed out to the foyer. Out there the bishop quietly came up to Russ (who was holding the rice bag) and asked, "Can I smell that?" Russ, of course, obliged. The bishop went on to explain that during the meeting, he thought the church was on fire and had sent the other bishopric member to go put it out. Turns out it was only my  rice bag, burning in the microwave!

I am glad that I went, but I think I left before I caused any real damage to the church. I went home and took a small nap before watching "The Social Network" with Tiff and Mom and Russ.

Here's to another day of feeling BETTER!!!

Things that happened today at church that I loved:

• Being "waived at" from little kids while conducting the opening hymn.
• Singing the wrong words while singing the closing hymn (thy strength shall I be? Are you sure it's not thy comfort I be??)
• Sunday School teacher to an old man who just said some joke about Hilary Clinton becoming Mother Teresa, "Thanks for killing the Spirit..." (He said it so well, it was so out of the blue...)
• Relief Society: 

     "Sister Chow will teach our lesson... Hey where is she?" 

"Right here," I peeped from the back row. 

• Talking after church: 

"Rueben... I'd like to name a kid Rueben." 

"That's a sandwich."

"Mmm... that's a good sandwich."

Can I just say that I LOVE my ward? I do. I love the quirks and the weirdness. I love the familial feel and the friendship. I love that we have a giant bulletin board and this is the only thing on it:

That's right, a baby sock. Tacked up on the board. Like some baby will come along and say, "Oh yeah, I'm missing that. Thank you for pinning that up."

I love you, San Marcos Ward.

Thoughts from last night...

I went to RS last night and had a great time. I've had a crappy week that extends to apt. problems, school problems, and car problems. So it was amazing to have some good ole fun. It got me thinking about things as I drove home from dropping off some friends from the activity. I thought about my little San Marcos Ward. The quirks, the struggles, and the strengths.

Then I remembered my mission. I remembered that one of the great things about serving a mission is that you get to see how many wards function and work... and how some don't. I remembered that one thing that makes a ward work is when everyone knows everyone. And what doesn't work is when people are clueless about each other. "Thomas? Who's that? I'm in X auxiliary organization so I don't know (or care) about them."

I took a moment to be sure that I try to know and care about the people I go to church with.

After this thought.... I thought about my little town. I thought about San Marcos. As I crossed over the San Marcos River, on the Old Bastrop Highway Bridge, all I could think is that "This is where my heart is."

Sorry to be such a cheese. But I really do love where I live. I love my life. I can't wait to be finished with law school and be back here for good.

Anyway. Just thoughts that I had last night. Things that I want to remember.

Gratitude- Day 8

What am I grateful for today? Hmm.... Let me think back on the past weeks. Well let's look at this past year. I'll be honest, it hasn't been a 'golden' year. There's been some rough patches. There have been tears. There's been a lot of good times too. But when I think back to what has gotten me through it all, today I am thankful for the Gospel. I am thankful for my Savior. For the knowledge that I can be forgiven, change, and become better. LIFE IS WONDERFUL!

Good Night, Last Night

Last night was a very fulfilling night. I'll tell you why. I am part of the J. Rueben Clark Law Society. It's the law society for legal professionals and law students that are Mormon. When I started law school, before I decided on Baylor, I was eager to be part of this Society. I'm not really sure why I was so excited, but I was.

When I went to orientation for Baylor, I asked the Dean over Student Services about it and got a very blunt response about Baylor not recognizing other religious groups. I'm sure the Dean did not intend the effect, but I felt sad about it. I knew I was going to be lonely in law school, being so far away from my family and friends. And now, where I thought I would make friends was not going to happen... or so I thought.

Turns out, there is a Waco Chapter of JRCLS. We are small in number, but it was a wonderful friendship to have at Baylor. Although, I was (and still am) the only girl. After my first year, the National society sent an e-mail out about applying to be on committees. I thought that I could help with the Women In Law committee, being the only female Mormon law student in my school. So I applied.

A little while later, Tyson Smith (the Vice-President over the Student Chapters) called and asked if I would serve as the Texas Regional Representative instead. So this past 6 months or so I've been in that capacity.

Well, last night was the 2nd Annual Regional Meeting for Texas. It was a long road, a lot of planning, and included some disappointments. But it happened! And while we were small in numbers, we were large in friendship and Spirit.

What really made last night a good night was our speaker, a Stake President and a law firm partner from Dallas (Mr. Kimball). In Waco, we don't get that kind of attention. We were excited.

Mr. Kimball spoke to us about who J. Rueben Clark was. None of us really had any clue. Turns out, the dude was AMAZING! I had always thought that J. Rueben Clark was some small-time Utah lawyer. Actually, he practiced International Law and served as a counsel to the United States in many affairs with Latin America. When I say, "many affairs", I mean important disputes that otherwise would/could have ended in war.

It was so neat to hear about the work President Clark did in his lifetime. He was very successful. But it was also touching how he dropped it all when called to be in the First Presidency of the Church. That's another interesting point- Pres. Clark had not served as an Apostle prior to being in the First Presidency. He was called to serve while an Ambassador to Mexico.

Not only was the topic good, but afterwards the speaker stayed and answered questions. Some of the law students (all fathers, husbands, and about to graduate) stayed and asked Mr. Kimball questions. Questions like, "How do you do it? How can you be a partner and a Stake President?"

It was neat to listen to. Here are a few things that I wanted to remember that he said:

• You can't have equal time with work and your family. And little kids do not understand quality over quantity. What you can do, and must do, is have the Spirit with you so your time with your children is most effective. So you will know what you need to say or do to help them and to let them know their Dad loves them.
• Live close to where you work. Time a lawyer spends in the car is time wasted. Your time is too valuable to drive 2 hours each day. Plus, if you live close to the office, you can go to lunch with your spouse sometimes.
• The reason we have so many good things to do in the church is because we need to learn to prioritize. The church handbooks will not get smaller. It is for us to read, pray, and prioritize what is most important and to then act accordingly. 
• (Along with the above). It's unfair to ask a young mother to go to the temple once a week, do family history, and to be a good mother. Maybe her family history is scrapbooking or blogging about what is happening now. That is enough. We can't expect everyone to be active on a weekly basis in every facet of the gospel. 
• Work hard at your job so when the Church calls you, you have the credibility to shift your focus a little bit. I could not be partner and Stake President if I hadn't proved myself as an Associate. I did quality work, I worked hard, and put in long hours. So now that I need to spend some time away from the office, I'm too valuable for them to let me go.

It was such a good evening. I walked away from it feeling like I am in the right place right now. I am where Heavenly Father wants me to be. I am doing what He wants me to be doing. And the future can wait. I'll get there soon enough.

Volleyball

I played in a church volleyball tourney this weekend. We took 3rd place in our Stake and won some nerds. I also made Russ come and cheer me on and take pictures. I told him how I had a rough childhood, being 1 of 5 kids, and not always having someone sitting in the stands cheering for me. Sucker. He totally fell for it.... and took some great pictures:

4 years ago

I left the beautiful islands of Hawai'i. I remember how much I cried. I remember how I couldn't sleep the night before. I remember leaving feeling like so many people had changed my life, and I had changed no one's. I mean, the Gospel did, but no one came to see me off at the airport. I gave Hawai'i a large piece of my heart. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

Before my mission, I hated it when returned missionaries called their mission "The Best Years" of their life. I still kind of do. I wouldn't describe my time in Hawai'i as that. I would describe it as the most selfless time of my life. The time I loved more freely than I ever have.

Hawai'i is a special place. I'm grateful to have been there. Lived in the ghettos. That I have seen a side of Hawai'i few non-residents get to see.

I secretly wish that my life would lead me back to the islands. Unfortunately every time we've planned a trip to go back, a grandma has died. But I wish our lives led us back there. I did get accepted to law school there, but with the recession it wasn't reasonable to move to a place Russ didn't have a job.

I could go on and on about the beautiful people. Oh the wonderful, beautiful people I came to know and love there! It was like being at a giant family reunion- everyone loved you. Even those who sent us away.

A few bullet point memories- more for my sake than for yours...

• Stepping off the plane and receiving multiple leis
• Not having a shower for 3 weeks
• Cockroaches! In my skirt!
• The Marshallese people. How ashamed I felt when I found out they were in Hawai'i for medical treatment due to US nuclear bomb testing near their islands. They did not resent me.
• Hawaiian sacrament meetings
• Papakolea!
• Maui- the island where I spent the bulk of my mission. Where I cried the most. Where I was harassed by the YWAMmers (Southern Baptist 'missionaries'... more like vacationers who string up dead cats at the LDS missionaries apartments)
• Sweet, sweet Annabelle. And Inmi.
• The 40 days of rain. Being trapped in Kahalu'u.
• The countless, countless Chinese families that I taught.
• The Tahitian boxer that gave up all for the Church

And so many more memories that are too special to share. So grateful that I was Called to Serve.

Funeral for a Pioneer

One of the things I love about living in Central Texas is that the church is so... fresh here. The Pioneer heritage is so recent. Missionaries didn't come to this area until the 1950's. Even then, they were arrested for vagrancy and kicked out. As Russ said to me yesterday, "It's neat to think of how much the church has grown here just in our parent's lifetime." I agree.

Wilma Stone was a pioneering sister in this area. There were times when she was the sole member of the church in the San Marcos/Wimberley area. I met her when we first moved here, and she died about 2 years ago.

Today, I went to a funeral celebrating another stalwart pioneer member; Sister Joan Sayre. She and her husband, Virgil, were some early church leaders in this area. He was the branch president. Church was held in a cafeteria. Brother Sayre went to Salt Lake and asked the prophet if we could build a church building. He raised funds and built that church building.

Sister Sayre was amazing. She has been so kind to me. Always willing to give a compliment, or ask how school is going, or to ask if I will help with a musical number. She always served well, was elegant, and happy. She was a queen in every way.

I am grateful to have known her. It has brought together many thoughts I have had about my love for San Marcos. Many love to bask in the herd, but I love being out here on the front lines. I hope to be 1/10 of the person Joan Sayre was.

Girl's Camp 2010- Swim

2 leaders

12 girls

1 week.

Camp this year was... different. Most years these girls just wanna have fun. But this year it was like these girls were ready to heal. Or deal with life. I guess most of them are getting older and more mature. But I cried a ton, I talked until I lost my voice, and I feel like I learned SO MUCH! I have a greater appreciation for the Gospel. For Jesus Christ. I felt overwhelmed with how much God loves and cares about these girls. I am so grateful I got to go to camp and serve these girls.